I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
