It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
worst night to have a conscience
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
