Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
