Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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