it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
