Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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