He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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