the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
