Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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