I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
