capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
