I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
