glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
