So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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