Will you blow on my dice?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
