It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
