He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
