did you get engaged???
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
