3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
