is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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