Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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