I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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