weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
