I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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