You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
