we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my poor anus
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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