He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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