Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize