I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
