Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
