If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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