Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
