I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize