ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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