This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
