Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i now understand why vodka
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
