Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
