I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
