does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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