She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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