So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize