i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
