Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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