Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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