...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
