I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize