look no pants
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
