your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
