how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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