dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
