So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
