I wish I could teleport
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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