Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
