i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize