bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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