His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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