i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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