your parents love me but you hate me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
