She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
