When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
