$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
