$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
