I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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