she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
